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P. J. ORourke Quotes about Death

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In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.

P. J. O'Rourke
Death, Failure, Character
P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.74, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

During the mid-1980s dairy farmers decided there was too much cheap milk at the supermarket. So the government bought and slaughtered 1.6 million dairy cows. How come the government never does anything like this with lawyers?

P. J. O'Rourke
Death, Government, Dying
P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.149, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

P. J. O'Rourke
Death, Fathers Day, Children
P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.117, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.

P. J. O'Rourke
Death, Grief, Loving You
P. J. O'Rourke (1983). “Modern manners”, Dell Books

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