Comedy Quotes - Page 11

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

I like to smoke, and when you smoke, things become less serious and you find the funny in things. So, even movies that aren't funny, they end up turning into comedies to me.

Comedy naturally wears itself out - destroys the very food on which it lives; and by constantly and successfully exposing the follies and weaknesses of mankind to ridicule, in the end leaves itself nothing worth laughing at.

Comedy comes from conflict, from hatred.

It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Comedy is crowded. There are hundreds of comedians in every place in the world.

I find comedy to be one of the highest of the art forms.

If tragedy is an experience of hyperinvolvement, comedy is an experience of underinvolvement, of detachment.

I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.

It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue.

Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.

sometimes in comedy you can make the audience feel poignancy stronger than you can with tears or anguish.

I developed several comedy phone calls.

I got everybody on my side through comedy.

Beaches and romantic comedies are not my thing. I'm a workaholic.

... life is a comedy far darker than drama. It just takes time to learn what to smile at.

I grew up watching comedy. It was among all the geeky things that I did.

I'm not a comedian. I didn't study sketch comedy; my background isn't that.

A room is like a stage. If you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world.

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.

I love bad comedy more than I love good comedy, so I love open mics. Or I used to. But the thing that delights me more than anything else in an open-mic performer is when the comic has one joke that requires some kind of prop. But only one. The prop is always produced very awkwardly, and it never, ever pays off. The resulting embarrassment is savory and delicious.

Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!