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Bill Maher Quotes - Page 17

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Life is about making tough choices. Sometimes you have to go where your career is going.

Life is about making tough choices. Sometimes you have to go where your career is going.

Careers, Choices, Tough

Source: articles.latimes.com

When the tabloids photograph me when I'm out, I always say: "You know what, folks? I'm not married and I'm not gay. You caught me with a hot chick. You got me. Take me to hot-chick jail. Did it again. Guilty."

Gay, Jail, Hot

Interview with David Steinberg, www.interviewmagazine.com. November 30, 2008.

What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.

Brother, Silver Platter, Florida

You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing.

Brain, Needs, Littles

Many people can't deal with unanswered questions, which religion exploits by providing answers, even if they are just made up by someone. This is also why we love TV shows and movies that neatly wrap up everything in exactly an hour or two.

Two, Tv Shows, People

That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, 'She is the heavyweight champion of my life.” Which may explain why on the ride home, he was strapped to the roof of the car.

Home, Wife, Car

We've created over 200,000 jobs every month this year. Hasn't happened in 17 years. I guess my first question is, when do the Republicans stop calling it 'Obama's economy'?

Jobs, Years, Calling

Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has. I'm not saying that I believe in that, I'm just saying he was born on a Mormon compound. I'm not a 'Wifer' but for some reason he's never shown his original marriage certificate.

Believe, Wife, Just Saying

"Bill Maher Mocks Birthers With Mitt Romney ‘Wifer’ Controversy". www.huffingtonpost.com. May 26, 2012.

Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.

Home, Years, Looks

Donald Trump announced he got his own segment every Monday morning on Fox News. Just what Fox News needs - another blonde airhead.

Monday, Morning, Blonde

Democrats are lame. The media is lame. And Donald Trump hasn't even played his war card yet. You know, he could start a war and get a lot of support there.

War, Support, Democrat

Source: www.realclearpolitics.com

You're not a patriot unless even when you lose, it's still your country.

Country, Patriot, Stills

Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But you know, there is a big difference between Ted Cruz and snow. Both are white and everyone’s sick of them – but eventually snow goes away.

Jobs, Government, White

They are having a panel look into the intelligence failures in Iraq. It is a seven-person panel and it will include Senator John McCain, but the findings from this panel will not be issued until after the election. President Bush says the commission can go off and report back in a year, you know, the same way it works in the Texas National Guard.

Texas, Years, Iraq

Community is gathering around a fire and listening to someone tell a story.

Fire, Community, Listening

We survived the 1980's. Back then, the economic program was called 'trickle down.' That actually meant they were pissing on you. How the whole theory goes was this: 'We have all the money. If we drop some, it's yours. Go for it.'

Economic, Program, Theory

Which is why I'd like to tip off law enforcement to an even larger child-abusing religious cult. Its leader also has a compound, and this guy not only operates outside the bounds of the law, but he used to be a Nazi and he wears funny hats. That's right, the Pope is coming to America this week and ladies, he's single!

Religious, Children, Law

"Bill Maher: Pope ‘Used to be a Nazi’; Compares Church to Cult, Bear Stearns". www.newsbusters.org. April 14, 2008.

If it makes you feel any better we will be happy to attack a country that had nothing to do with it.

Country, Feels, Ifs

Religion is bad and drugs are good.

Drug

"Bill Maher's 'View': Church Going Old Ladies 'Enablers' to Religious Violence". www.newsbusters.org. April 16, 2007.

You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery...

Lucky, World, Born

"Bill Maher: Victory Begins at Home", 2003.

I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder.

Hate, Thinking, Disorder

"Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

I doubt anything will really come of this lawsuit. First of all, it's a lawsuit. It involves a subpoena. And try to find a Republican who will be willing to be seen serving a black man.

Men, Black, Doubt

What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie.

Mean, Tyrants, Mad

YouTube Chanel "Uncle Spellbinder"/ "Bill Maher - New Rules [Noah's Ark, God and Religion]", www.youtube.com. March 14, 2014.

It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.

Jesus, Excuse, Communion

I'm okay with it now that Obama’s in office. I'm kind of trusting of him. But President Ted Cruz? Where this is going would bother me.

Office, President, Kind

"Maher Defends NSA Spying Program: 'There Is No Doubt That We Have Probably Stopped Terrorist Plots By Doing This'". "Real Time" with Bill Maher, www.realclearpolitics.com. June 8, 2013.

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