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Bill Maher Quotes - Page 20

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Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas.

Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas.

Thinking, Texas, Sick

To give you an idea how slowly we are leaving Afghanistan, Afghans don't refer to us anymore as 'infidel crusaders.' They refer to us as 'Irish relatives.'

Ideas, Giving, Leaving

I'm against suing tobacco companies. I think abstinence is a perversion. I think Bush's lies are worse than Clinton's. I think Vegas was better when it was run by the mob. I think men are only as loyal as their options. I think stereotypes are true and rehab is for quitters.

Abstinence, Perversion

"Bill Maher: Victory Begins at Home". Documentary, Comedy, 2003.

We're all gonna be gay if we get health care!

Gay, Care, Health Care

If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it "proactive intelligence screening" or "high alert detecting", people would be saying "Well, it's about time".

People, Would Be, Calling

Bill Maher (2003). “When You Ride Alone You Ride with Bin Laden: What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism”, New Millenium

New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.

Flower, Gay, Onions

I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the gun accidentally goes off and kills his friend. Only in America is the villain in this commercial not guns or bad parenting, but pot.

Dad, Kids, Gun

A president can be unpopular for good reasons. You know, I'm not always on the side that the people are right, for God's sake. But, you know, he's not popular when he goes overseas. He couldn't go to Rosa Parks' funeral.

People, Funeral, President

You are what you do. It's about actions.

Action

All I did was tell the truth. That's is what the whole show is about! And if Politically Incorrect has to go down for it, so be it!

Truth, Shows, Whole

I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there?

Country, World, Way

"Maher: Why Aren't Democrats Blaming Floods, Fires On Climate Change?", www.realclearpolitics.com. June 25, 2011.

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

White, Class, House

Don't wear bacon cologne. If you put on...you know what? Screw it. Wear it. If you are the type of guy who is tempted to wear bacon cologne, it's not like you could get laid any less.

Guy, Like You, Type

Government - they used to teach it in college. It's actually something you should study and learn and know how to do. The Republicans always run on the idea that government isn't very effective. Well, not the way you do it. But it can be effective.

Running, College, Ideas

"Real talk with Bill Maher". Interview with Joan Walsh, www.salon.com. February 16, 2007.

There are people who think everything is a conspiracy and I think they're crazy.

Crazy, Thinking, People

It's all been satirized for your protection.

Protection

Now, I'm no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic.

Doctors, Tvs, Opinion

When I was in high school the worst thing you could ever get was VD. Talk about the sniffles! I just want to meet an old-fashioned girl with gonorrhea.

Girl, School, Gonorrhea

A lot of people have warned President Clinton that Bosnia will turn into another Vietnam, which would be embarrassing for him because he'll have to go back to college.

College, People, President

Bill Maher (1996). “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That?: Politically Incorrect's Greatest Hits”, Villard Books

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

Facts, Doe, Comedy

I thought this election was an adult discussion on how best to protect ourselves in the face of terrorism, but apparently it was a referendum on boys kissing... When homophobia trumps terrorism in America, wow. This country needs to get laid.

Country, Kissing, Boys

"Bill Maher: I'm Swiss". Documentary, Comedy, 2005.

We do it all the time, we legislate taste. We do it with the tax code. Churches and children get a tax break, because it's assumed that we all agree that we want to encourage churches and children. I don't. I don't. That's my opinion. I don't want to encourage either churches or children, and it's a very bad idea to put them together.

Children, Ideas, Together

"Bill Maher: I'm Swiss". Documentary, Comedy, 2005.

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies.

Believe, Thinking, People

"Scarborough Country" with Joe Scarborough, www.nbcnews.com. February 15, 2005.

I'm worried about a permanent Republican majority. That's what I'm worried about for the future.

Republican, Worried

Source: www.realclearpolitics.com

Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

People, Groups, Littles

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