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Bill Maher Quotes - Page 22

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President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.

Father, President, Comedy

Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage.

Care, Woods, Defeat

I think Democrats are complacent. They think that Russia is going to save us. Bob Mueller is going to come in with a report.

Thinking, Democrat, Complacent

Source: www.realclearpolitics.com

Rush Limbaugh, who has made a career preaching that anybody who does drugs has got to go right to jail - do not pass go, no questions asked, right to jail - gets caught doing thirty oxycontin a day. Thirty oxycontin?! Do you have any idea how high that is?! I don't, and I've been pretty high!

Ideas, Oxycontin, Jail

"Bill Maher: I'm Swiss". Documentary, Comedy, 2005.

Don't say a woman is crazy just because she runs away from her wedding.

Running, Crazy, Running Away

Bill Maher (2005). “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”, p.94, Rodale

The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain.

Iraq, People, Support

Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual in the priesthood; it'll just go away. Maybe I'll try it with the Republican Party.

Party, Gay, Men

I mean, maybe one day we will live in a more optimum world where terrorists come in every color of the rainbow. But the truth is, now they don't. I mean, the people who are trying to get us are young Muslim men, period.

Mean, Men, Color

I get the Playboy thing a lot. People assume I go out with bimbos. I couldn`t go out with bimbos if I tried! I scare them off! The women that like me are smart. So I go to the Playboy Mansion four or five times a year, but people think I go all the time.

Smart, Thinking, Years

"Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

Recently, there's been a trend in America that I find very disturbing... rewarding immoral and illegal behavior...For example, we now give free needles to junkies, which seems to me to be only a step away from giving condoms to rapists.

America, Giving, Example

In this country, a smart leader is suspect. That's just the way it is. Even George Bush's father, who was a lot smarter than the son, had to sort of prove that he wasn't that bright.

Country, Father, Smart

A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors and scrutinized its citizens' everyday existence. And then they excused themselves to go watch Big Brother.

Brother, Government, Everyday

In no way was I intending to say, nor have I ever thought, that the men and women who defend our nation in uniform are anything but courageous and valiant, and I offer my apologies to anyone who took it wrong.

Apology, Men, Uniforms

"Maher Apologizes for 'Cowards' Remark". abcnews.go.com. September 20, 2001.

That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as well be a real ho.

Real, Pimp, Want

Canadian bacon isn't bacon. It's ham.

Ham

Bill Maher (2011). “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass”, p.170, Penguin

McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000 worth of clothes and jewelry on, no matter to the party of the little guy. But Cindy McCain talked about how his character, honor and integrity made him the exact kind of married man she was looking to pick up at a bar.

Integrity, Party, Character

North Korea has the same ability to launch a nuclear strike against America as I do. It's like walking through a parking lot and getting barked at by a chihuahua locked in a car.

Korea, America, Car

Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine.

Space, Tourism, Lap

Jesus is not a candle. A company in South Dakota is selling candles with the scent of Jesus. You light one and your friends says, Christ, what's that smell?

Jesus, Light, Smell

Bill Maher (2005). “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”, p.185, Rodale

Anyone who is elected mayor of a place called "Sin City" is allowed to be a drunk.

Sin City, Cities, Drunk

"Real Time with Bill Maher". Talk-Show, www.imdb.com. (2003 - ).

Of course, there are questions that plague all of us. How did we get here? What happens when we die? Is there a heaven? Am I on the list? Who let the dogs out?

Dog, Heaven, Lists

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.

Usa, Personality, Needs

This is why rational people - anti-religionists - must end their timidity and come out of their closet and assert themselves.

People, Religion, Atheism

"Religulous". www.imdb.com. 2008.

Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about.

Mean, Thinking, Virtue

"Religulous". www.imdb.com. 2008.

If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns.

Daughter, Gun, Worry

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