Bo Burnham Quotes - Page 4

I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.

I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.

I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.

People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.

I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.

And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, "Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers?" Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me!

Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.

Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.

I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.

The biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That's an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes. I try to be strong about it and assure myself that only my close friends and family can really pass judgement on me personally, but it's impossible to not let it get to you.

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.

I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.

I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die.

I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.

I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.

I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.

I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.

If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.

I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don't want to construct the show to prove something.

I never felt like I was stealing anyone's fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.