Bo Burnham Quotes - Page 2

We're having a traditional Thanksgiving - turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.

I'm happy with what I'm doing. I try not to focus on how I've changed. I just try to focus on what I'm doing now.

I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.

I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.

Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it.

I'm interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they're scary, and they're important to think about. I'm also wary about the fact that if you don't proceed with caution and understand what you're doing, you understand these things are realities that you're dealing with, they're real things.

I don't like calling myself a "feminist" only because I don't think I've done anything active enough to call myself one. It'd be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I'm not racist.

Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.

When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.

Poverty. Racism. Isn't it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?

If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn't respect that.

If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.

Do you guys like impressions? "Why?" That was Socrates.

I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm thankful for all of you. I am not thankful for the pilgrims. Buckles should never be on hats.

Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop's another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you're talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It's like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.

The average person has one Fallopian tube.

I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

Love is all about... whistles.

I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.

I see young people being dismissed for supposedly wanting only "stupid" and "easy" material, or that they don't have an attention span longer than three minutes. I disagree with all those statements; I just think they aren't true. I'm saying that our generation wants stuff that is substantial and challenging, as well as thoughtful and endearing. Well, I don't know if I'm doing that, but I'm trying.

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.