Jokes Quotes - Page 11

I enjoy life. I always enjoy jokes.

I voted for Ralph Nader in 2000, but I will not make that mistake again. The joke is over for Nader. He was funny once, but now he belongs to the dead.

If nothing is delightful without love and jokes, then live in love and jokes.

He was saying that the end of the world wasn't an accident; it was a joke.

It is almost a joke, but a joke that nobody tells.

Never joke at funerals, or during business transactions.

If mankind is naturally good, he is sure going against his nature more and more of the time. It sounds like a bad joke: the paranoids are after us.

If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?

I'm a fun person. I like cracking jokes and being completely nerdy.

A joke is necessary at this time.

I'm really bad at writing jokes.

My life is passed in making bad jokes and seeing them turn into true prophecies.

... the majority of us scarcely see more distinctly the faultiness of our own conduct than the faultiness of our own arguments, orthe dulness [sic] of our own jokes.

I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.

The joke loses everything when the joker laughs himself.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

Cougar jokes are now as hackneyed as airplane food.

I'm not a joke guy; I'm not a stand-up comic.

Have you considered the option of getting the joke? If not, try it now and redeem your soul.

Coming up with a funny joke is like falling in love: It can hit you any time, anywhere. Having said that, the more you put yourself out there, the better your odds will be.

I tell the most horrible jokes.

My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes.

All crises, once averted, become jokes.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

To this day, to this very day, except for television, I've never had a writer. Anything I've ever done on the stage, happened on the stage and I developed it from there. It started doing impressions and jokes - which I did very poorly. To this day I can't tell a joke. That sounds nuts, but it's true. I exaggerate it and it becomes a joke. Everything I've ever done I've done out on the stage and it became a performance over many many years.