Sarcastic Quotes - Page 26

He's a trellis for varicose veins.

She's good, being gone.

He makes a July's day short as December.

If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck.

The perfection of rottenness.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious.

A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.

This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it.

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

He made enemies as naturally as soap makes suds.

Men heap together the mistakes of their lives, and create a monster they call Destiny.

We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.

Advertisers in general bear a large part of the responsibility for the deep feelings of inadequacy that drive women to psychiatrists, pills, or the bottle.

I grew up in a family of ten. You had to have, like, a burst appendix to get the floor.... My brothers and sisters are very quick, intense, brilliant, very sarcastic people. And they were always right there with you, right there, missing not one little throat clearing.

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.

In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.