Sarcastic Quotes - Page 27

He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces.

He is a fine friend. He stabs you in the front.

Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads.

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.

He was a bit like a corkscrew. Twisted, cold and sharp.

I have friends who are so sarcastic, but I never view it as mean.

Sarcasm is lost in print.

He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.

He is so stupid you can't trust him with an idea.

We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.

If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.

I fear that I have not got much to say about Canada, not having seen much; what I got by going to Canada was a cold.

There is one thing on earth more terrible than English music, and that is English painting.

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

The Australian sense of humor is very dry, sarcastic, and very undercover. Like if I tell any jokes in America, people just think I'm serious! So I just quit telling any jokes whatsoever.

She is a water bug on the surface of life.

Acting is like roller skating. Once you know how to do it, it is neither stimulating nor exciting.

Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.

He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.

In her single person she managed to produce the effect of a majority.

He was about as useful in a crisis as a sheep.

When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?

My mom was sarcastic about men. She would tell me Adam was the rough draft and Eve was the final product. She was a feminist minister, an earth mom who wore a bra only on Sundays.