Sarcastic Quotes - Page 23

Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being that a belch is more satisfying.

He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him.

Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles.

Russians will consume marinated mushrooms and vodka, salted herring and vodka, smoked salmon and vodka, salami and vodka, caviar on brown bread and vodka, pickled cucumbers and vodka, cold tongue and vodka, red beet salad and vodka, scallions and vodka-anything and everything and vodka.

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

Go anywhere in England where there are natural wholesome, contented and really nice English people; and what do you find? That the stables are the real centre of the household.

What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?.

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

That I walk around calling people 'dummy' and 'hockey puck'. I do have a different life apart from being sarcastic on stage. I might kibitz around with my friends, but I'm nothing like the person who does stand up. Nothing like that.

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?

The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.

She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.

Since I started making films, I've been a nut for dialogue. When I first saw Star Wars when I was 12 years old, I came home and recited all of the lines from it. Before I talked about Death Stars exploding and Tie Fighters I was talking about how funny Princess Leia was and how sarcastic Han Solo was. So to me that's always the most important thing, and I love hearing great actors say great lines.

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story

At a turbulent public meeting once I lost my temper and said some harsh and sarcastic things. The proposal I was supporting was promptly defeated. My father who was there, said nothing, but that night, on my pillow I found a marked passage from Aristotle: Anybody can become angry--that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way -- that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.

The atmosphere of Venus consists of ammonia, sulfur, and nitric oxide. Man must have lived there once.

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.

In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is really charming.

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.

In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered.

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.