Witty Quotes - Page 36

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature - the malice of a good thing is the barb that makes it stick.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

I appreciate my my sleep In sleep my conversation is witty My home is dusted My office work is up to date The dog is even well behaved And food is on the table on time But then when I'm asleep I don't have you to clutter and confuse My hungry heart

Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live.

What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures.

Normally you have news, weather and travel.....but not on snow day, on snow day news is weather is travel.

The middle class is doing fine in fiction. But it's not what gets me going. I love the working class, and everyone from it I've met, and think they're incredibly witty, inventive - there's a lot of poetry there.

Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.

I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

A witty writer is like a porcupine; his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe.

She is pretty to walk with, And witty to talk with, And pleasant, too, to think on.

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

I think the single biggest thing that money gave me-and obviously I came from a place where I was a single mother and it really was hand to mouth at one point. It was literally as poor as you can get in Britain without being homeless at one point. If you've ever been there you will never, ever take for granted that you don't need to worry. Never.

Yes, there are parallels. The difference is that I just look at [my son] David and think that he's absolutely perfect, whereas you look at the finished book and you think, 'Oh, damn it, I should have changed that.' You're never happy. Whereas with a baby, you're happy. If you've got a perfect baby, you're just grateful.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!

You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

I'm all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

It's that same quality I've been talking about. It's neither contrived, nor surprising and smart, not baffling, not witty, not interesting, not cynical, it can't be planned and it probably can't even be described. It's just good.