Billy Connolly Quotes - Page 6

I've always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I'm where I belong.

As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It's something they reserve just for me.

People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

Don't work out, work in.

Try to live in a place you like.

I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That's what girls do. I think I am a girl really.

If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket.

I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.

Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.

There's nothing better than a fight, especially when you're watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he's a big Jessie!

People die all the time. It's just that you're not around.

Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time.

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

Acting is a different discipline. On stage I'm free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.

I don't aim to offend.

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn up.

Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do.

The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things... after the weather.

Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.

Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.

When I read 'Be real, don't get caught acting,' I thought, 'How the hell do you do that?'.

I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.

I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.

I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I'm desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I'm going back, but I'm not. I'd rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.