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Mark Twain Quotes about Marriage

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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Love, Marriage, Wisdom

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.126, Courier Corporation

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Friendship, Happiness, Marriage

Mark Twain (2015). “Following the Equator: "A Journey Around the World"”, p.484, eKitap Projesi

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths

Anniversary, Marriage, Wedding

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.248, Courier Corporation

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

Funny, Marriage, Death

Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain’s Letters & Speeches (Annotated Edition)”, p.563, Jazzybee Verlag

If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do. Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base

Marriage, Husband, Wife

Mark Twain (1966). “Mark Twain's Satires and Burlesques”, p.185, Univ of California Press

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

Funny, Marriage, New Year

Mark Twain (1979). “Early Tales & Sketches, Vol. 1: 1851-1864”, p.180, Univ of California Press

Men and women -- even man and wife are foreigners. Each has reserves that the other cannot enter into, nor understand. These have the effect of frontiers.

Marriage, Men, Wife

Mark Twain, Caroline Thomas Harnsberger (2009). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.491, Courier Corporation

Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.

Love, Marriage, Love Is

Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.

Marriage, Tragedy, Felicity

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.257, Courier Corporation

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

Love, Marriage, Wedding

Mark Twain (2017). “The Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, Life on the Mississippi, Yankee in King Arthur's Court…”, p.8291, e-artnow

Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality

Love, Marriage, Dream

What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes "my dear," and "my love" come from the heart; but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?

Marriage, Running, Heart

Mark Twain (1979). “Early Tales & Sketches, Vol. 1: 1851-1864”, p.86, Univ of California Press

God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage

Marriage, Men, Race

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.

Inspirational, Funny, Marriage

Mark Twain (1979). “Early Tales & Sketches, Vol. 1: 1851-1864”, p.180, Univ of California Press

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia.

Marriage, Military, Ulysses's Grant

My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess.

Marriage, Girl, Advice

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