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Mark Twain Quotes about Sleep

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Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

Mark Twain
Funny, Humorous, Sleep

When I'm playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales. I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to sleep with the thunder.

Mark Twain
Ocean, Creativity, Sleep
Mark Twain (2011). “Mark Twain's Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn”, p.320, NewSouth Books

If science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit and all the pulpits break into grateful advertising-raptures and call attention to how good he is. Yes, he has done it. Perhaps he waited a thousand years before doing it. They forget to say that he is the slowest mover in the universe, that his Eye That Never Sleeps, might as well, since it takes a century to see what any other eye can see in a week.

Mark Twain
Grateful, Sleep, Eye

If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.

Mark Twain
Sleep, Funeral, Trying
Mark Twain (2013). “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”, p.9, Atlântico Press

Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.

Mark Twain
Sleep, Men, Giving

I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.

Mark Twain
Sleep, Army, Losing
Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.61, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired.

Mark Twain
Taken, Sleep, Tired
Quoted in Colin Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

Geniuses are people who dash off weird, wild, incomprehensible poems with astonishing facility, & then go & get booming drunk & sleep in the gutter. Genius elevates a man to ineffable speres [sic] far above the vulgar world, & fills his soul with a regal contempt for the gross & sordid things of earth. It is probably on account of this that people who have genius do not pay their board, as a general thing.

Mark Twain
Sleep, Men, People

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

Mark Twain
Inspiration, Sleep, Smoke

Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.

Mark Twain
Sleep, People, Going To Sleep

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

Mark Twain
Taken, Sleep, Exercise
Quoted in Colin Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps!

Mark Twain
Sleep, Men, Age
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.39, Courier Corporation

In this age of inventive wonders all men have come to believe that in some genius' brain sleeps the solution of the grand problem of aerial navigation-and along with that belief is the hope that that genius will reveal his miracle before they die, and likewise a dread that he will poke off somewhere and die himself before he finds out that he has such a wonder lying dormant in his brain. We all know the air can be navigated-therefore, hurry up your sails and bladders-satisfy us-let us have peace.

Mark Twain
Lying, Believe, Sleep
Mark Twain, John C. Gerber, Terry Firkins (1983). “Tom Sawyer Abroad ; Tom Sawyer Detective”, p.180, Univ of California Press

The old saw says, 'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Right. Still, when there is much at stake it is better to get a newspaper to do it.

Mark Twain
Dog, Lying, Sleep
Mark Twain (1994). “Tales, Speeches, Essays, and Sketches”, p.202, Penguin

The old saw says - 'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Experience knows better; experience says, If you want to convince do it yourself.

Mark Twain
Dog, Lying, Sleep
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.69, Courier Corporation

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow.

Mark Twain
Mean, Sleep, Done
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.95, Courier Corporation

Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.

Mark Twain
Block, Sleep, Names

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