Mark Twain Quotes about Funny
Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Pudd'nhead Wilson ch. 16, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" (1894)
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Quoted in Albert B. Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography (1912)
Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.9, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.31, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Following the Equator ch. 66, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" (1897)
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.61, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.
Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.40, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.26, St. Martin's Press