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Mark Twain Quotes about Science

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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

Mark Twain
Truth, Science, Fiction
Following the Equator ch. 15, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" (1897) See Byron 33; Chesterton 6

Supposing is good, but finding out is better.

Mark Twain
Learning, Science, Supposing That
Mark Twain (2015). “Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 3: The Complete and Authoritative Edition”, p.99, Univ of California Press

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

Mark Twain
Math, Science, Return
Life on the Mississippi ch. 17 (1883)

When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.

Mark Twain
Father, Science, Years

I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.

Mark Twain
Science, Facts, Opinion
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.115, Courier Corporation

The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.

Mark Twain
Change, Science, Religion
Mark Twain (1972). “Everyone's Mark Twain”

I have been scientifically studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so-called,) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result profoundly humiliating to me. For it obliges me to renounce my allegiance to the Darwinian theory of the Ascent of Man from the Lower Animals; since it now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one, this new and truer one to be named the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

Mark Twain
Science, Animal, Men
Mark Twain (1973). “What Is Man? and Other Philosophical Writings”, p.81, Univ of California Press

Herschel removed the speckled tent-roof from the world and exposed the immeasurable deeps of space, dim-flecked with fleets of colossal suns sailing their billion-leagued remoteness.

Mark Twain
Science, Space, Sailing
Mark Twain (2003). “Tales of Wonder”, p.223, U of Nebraska Press

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Mark Twain
Funny, Humor, Science
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn ch. 26 (1884)

We could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own world and the thousands of nations that have arisen and flourished and vanished from it. Mathematics alone would occupy me eight million years.

Mark Twain
Math, Science, Eight
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.8549, Delphi Classics

Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is, I dunno. If The Eiffel Tower were now to represent the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; and anybody would perceive that the skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno.

Mark Twain
Science, Men, Years
Mark Twain (2009). “Mark Twain’s Book of Animals”, p.165, Univ of California Press

When even the brightest mind in our world has been trained up from childhood in a superstition of any kind, it will never be possible for that mind, in its maturity, to examine sincerely, dispassionately, and conscientiously any evidence or any circumstance which shall seem to cast a doubt upon the validity of that superstition. I doubt if I could do it myself.

Mark Twain
Science, Maturity, Our World
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.4096, Delphi Classics

In the laboratory there are no fustian ranks, no brummagem aristocracies; the domain of Science is a republic, and all its citizens are brothers and equals, its princes of Monaco and its stonemasons of Cromarty meeting, barren of man-made gauds and meretricious decorations, upon the one majestic level!

Mark Twain
Brother, Science, Men
Mark Twain (2005). “The Devil's Race-Track: Mark Twain's "Great Dark" Writings”, p.174, Univ of California Press

Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.

Mark Twain
Science, Past, Years

Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money off them.

Mark Twain
Money, Science, Scientist
The Bee (published 1917)

I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.

Mark Twain
Science, Men, Statistics
Mark Twain (1984). “Plymouth Rock and the Pilgrims and other salutary platform opinions”, Harpercollins

Every improvement that is put upon the real estate is the result of an idea in somebody's head. The skyscraper is another idea; the railroad is another; the telephone and all those things are merely symbols which represent ideas. An andiron, a wash-tub, is the result of an idea that did not exist before.

Mark Twain
Real, Science, Ideas
Mark Twain (2016). “Mark Twain's Speeches”, p.211, Xist Publishing

The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.

Mark Twain
Science, Men, Europe
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.98, Courier Corporation

Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing; you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.

Mark Twain
Math, Science, Men
Mark Twain, General Press (2016). “The Complete Works of Mark Twain: All 13 Novels, Short Stories, Poetry and Essays”, p.475, GENERAL PRESS

That reminds me to remark, in passing, that the very first official thing I did, in my administration-and it was on the first day of it, too-was to start a patent office; for I knew that a country without a patent office and good patent laws was just a crab, and couldn't travel any way but sideways or backways.

Mark Twain
Country, Science, Law
Mark Twain (2012). “Three by Twain: Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and A Connecticut Yankee In King Arther's Court”, p.63, Graphic Arts Books

There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.

Mark Twain
Stars, Science, Mystery
Mark Twain (2015). “The Diaries of Adam and Eve”, p.3, Xist Publishing

Such is professional jealousy; a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.

Mark Twain
Kindness, Science, Scientist
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.5262, Delphi Classics

That is the way of the scientist. He will spend thirty years in building up a mountain range of facts with the intent to prove a certain theory; then he is so happy with his achievement that as a rule he overlooks the main chief fact of all-that all his accumulation proves an entirely different thing.

Mark Twain
Science, Mountain Ranges, Years
Mark Twain (2015). “Mark Twain's Essays: Top Essays”, p.177, 谷月社

I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at that rugged study, and to-day the only mathematics I know is multiplication, and the minute I get away up in that, as soon as I reach nine times seven- [He lapsed into deep thought, trying to figure nine times seven. Mr. McKelway whispered the answer to him.] I've got it now. It's eighty-four. Well, I can get that far all right with a little hesitation. After that I am uncertain, and I can't manage a statistic.

Mark Twain
Science, Accomplishment, Effort

We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that the savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.

Mark Twain
Knowledge, Science, Rainbow
A Tramp Abroad ch. 42 (1880)

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