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Woody Allen Quotes about Life

All Woody Allen Quotes Age Anxiety Art Atheism Atheist Baseball Basketball Beer Boredom Character Childhood Children Choices College Comedy Concentration Cooking Country Crime Culture Cynicism Death Desire Divorce Drama Driving Dying Education Enthusiasm Failing Falling In Love Feelings Fighting Film Food Fun Funny Genius Getting Older Giving God Hate Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Home House Human Nature Humanity Hurt Imagination Immortality Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Kissing Laughter Liberty Life quotes Logic Love Love And Death Love Life Luck Lying Mankind Marriage Maturity Meaning Of Life Money Morning Pain Past Philosophy Politics Quality Reading Reality Regret Reincarnation Religion Running Sarcasm School Science Sleep Smoking Stupidity Style Success Suffering Sunday Talent Time Today Tragedy Universe Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Writing

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Love, Funny, Life

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Inspirational, Funny, Life

"Standup Comic". A CD compilation of Allen comedy routines from 1964-1968, 1999.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Funny, Life, Witty

Epigraph to Eric Lax Woody Allen and his Comedy (1975)

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

Funny, Life, Witty

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Funny, Life, Humor

I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Inspirational, Funny, Life

"Death: A Comedy in One Act". Book by Woody Allen, 1975.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Life, Laughter, Hipster

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.

Funny, Life, Mushrooms

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

Funny, Life, Errors

I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

Life, Sex, Answers

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Funny, Life, Thankful

"Positive Words, Powerful Results". Book by Hal Urban (p. 105), 2004.

It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.

Life, Graduation, Home

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.

Life, Fun, Science

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Love, Funny, Life

Love and Death, www.imdb.com. 1975.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Funny, Life, Humor

"Fictional character: Alvy Singer". "Annie Hall", www.imdb.com. 1977.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Funny, Life, Death

Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Funny, Life, Art

2000 In The Guardian, 31Dec.

Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?

Life, Art, Doe

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