Fun Quotes - Page 42

I hate women because they always know where things are.

Amnesiac was written to make fun of senior citizens with alzheimers. I hate them and I wish they'd die.

The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good.

It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.

Lord, protect me from my friends; I can take care of my enemies.

It's a funny thing, when you talk to God, you're religious, but when he talks to you, you're a psychopath.

Yes. I guess it's the foolish romantic in me, but you see, I don’t think that sex is my Muse.

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.

God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.

Pro and con are opposites, that fact is clearly seen. If progress means to move forward, then what does congress mean?

A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.

When I was twelve, I went hunting with my father and we shot a bird. He was laying there and something struck me. Why do we call this fun to kill this creature [who] was as happy as I was when I woke up this morning.

Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

I can't tell you how much we laughed on the set to have Alec Guinness in a scene with a big, furry dog that's flying a space ship.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.

What are Fred and I? Next door neighbors?

If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it.

If we have to have a choice between being dead and pitied, and being alive with a bad image, we'd rather be alive and have the bad image.

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body

Everyone smiles in the same language.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.

In Westerns you were permitted to kiss your horse but never your girl.

It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.