Fun Quotes - Page 66

Nigel Mansell is the last person in the race apart from the five in front of him

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.

The world is literally about to blow up.

To young men contemplating a voyage I would say go.

All the time he's boxing, he's thinking. All the time he was thinking, I was hitting him.

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

When you function in love, your inside creates your outside. When you function in fear, your outside creates your inside.

The essential difference between emotion and reason is that emotion leads to action while reason leads to conclusions.

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'

If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call him, Pizza-Pussy-Santa. I would! Cause everybody likes one of those things.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure - that is all that agnosticism means.

A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.

If I ever wear a Chelsea shirt, you have permission to kill me.

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

You must lose everything in order to gain anything.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

I'm very proud of my skin and my face, and I have no problem not wearing makeup. I don't wear makeup because I feel like I need to cover myself up or because I don't feel confident. I wear makeup because it's fun; it's like painting on my face.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.