Hilarious Quotes - Page 10

It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy.

Look how often the unexpected happens - yet we still never expect it.

Take your risks now; as you become older, you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn't even on.

I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.

Motown, Motown, that's my era. Those are my people.

Google "brooklyn writer" and you'll get, Did you mean: the future of literature as we know it?

Thou art a very ragged Wart.

All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years.

This is possibly the most shameful situation I've ever gotten myself in in my life, and I've done some pretty dumb things in my life. So to actually make a new No. 1 is spectacularly stupid.

I can't imagine going back to long hair. Cutting it was the greatest thing I ever did

When mice run, cats give chase.

If you're a kid who was not especially a star in your high school, I recommend going to a college in the middle of nowhere. I got all the attention I could ever have wanted.

I like stepping into the future. Therefore, I look for doorknobs.

Is this chicken or is this fish?

It's so trendy, almost bleeding to death. All the cool girls are doing it.

I wouldn't feel right wearing clothes covering my body.