Sarcastic Quotes - Page 10

He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul.

When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate.

He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry.

I'm single because I was born that way.

I'm stingy and I'm proud of the reputation.

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!"

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.

Making others happy, through kindness of speech and sincerity of right advice, is a sign of true greatness. To hurt another soul by sarcastic words, looks, or suggestions, is despicable.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.

I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth and they never believe me.

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies.

A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead.

A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.