Sarcastic Quotes - Page 11

Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either.

I thought men like that shot themselves.

A modest little person, with much to be modest about.

You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.

Sorry I’m so sarcastic. I feel really bad about it.

There are more bad musicians than there is bad music.

Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Better never than late.

Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you've got a pretty neck.

She's been on more laps than a napkin.

Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.

Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present

The more I see of man, the more I like dogs.

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again.

Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.

In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning.

Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side