Sarcastic Quotes - Page 9

What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.

Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.

Put every great teacher in a room, and they'd agree about everything, but put their disciples in there and they'd argue about everything.

Sarcastic people tend to be marshmallows underneath the armor

I've been in more laps than a napkin.

Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it.

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Deliberate with caution, but act with decision and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

To the people I forgot, you weren't on my mind for some reason and you probably don't deserve any thanks anyway.

You are never too old to become younger!

If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

I catch fire and find the reserves of courage and assertiveness to speak up. When that happens I get quite carried away. My blood gets hot my brow wet I become unbearably and unconscionably sarcastic and bellicose I am girded for a total showdown.

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.