Sarcastic Quotes - Page 8

Science can never solve one problem without raising ten more problems.

History is a kind of introduction to more interesting people than we can possibly meet in our restricted lives; let us not neglect the opportunity.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everybody in good society holds exactly the same opinions.

Every single word you have spoken is sharp, sarcastic and twisted. When I thought you were abnormal you suddenly turned out to be normal. When I thought you were normal you turned out to be abnormal.

Debating against him is no fun, say something insulting and he looks at you like a whipped dog.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.

I'm the walkingest girl around. I like to work at it - really get my heart pounding.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Instant gratification takes too long.

I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he's a dirty little beast.

It is great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.