Erma Bombeck Quotes about Family

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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

Erma Bombeck

Funny, Family, Mom

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Erma Bombeck

Family, Mom, Mother

Erma Bombeck (2013). “Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession”, p.10, Open Road Media

I read one psychologist's theory that said, "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?

Erma Bombeck

Family, Children, Sunday

The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.

Erma Bombeck

Family, Sibling, Character

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Erma Bombeck

Family, Mom, Mother

Erma Bombeck (2011). “I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression”, p.96, Fawcett

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

Erma Bombeck

Family, Food, Cereal

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.

Erma Bombeck

Family, Mother, Children

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

Erma Bombeck

Funny, Family, Children

Families aren't easy to join. They're like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant.

Erma Bombeck

Family, Country, Demand

Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.

Erma Bombeck

Funny, Family, Mom

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.

Erma Bombeck

Family, Children, Thinking

Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.71, Open Road Media

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.

Erma Bombeck

Family, Death, Dying

Erma Bombeck (1997). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.149, Andrews McMeel Publishing