Erma Bombeck Quotes about Sports

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Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

Erma Bombeck

Sports, Football, Shopping

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Erma Bombeck

Soccer, Sports, Football

Erma Bombeck (2013). “If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”, p.151, Open Road Media

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving, Sports, Football

"On Being Blonde: Wit and Wisdom from the World's Most Infamous Blondes". Book by Paula Munier, p. 67, September 1, 2004.

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.

Erma Bombeck

Sports, Hills, Skiing

Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.

Erma Bombeck

Funny, Sports, Sex

I hated skiing or any other sport where there was an ambulance waiting at the bottom of the hill.

Erma Bombeck

Sports, Waiting, Hills

Erma Bombeck (1996). “Four of a Kind: A Suburban Field Guide”, Bbs Publishing Corporation

It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.

Erma Bombeck

Sports, Football, Names

Erma Bombeck, Bil Keane (2011). “Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!”, p.112, Fawcett