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George Carlin Quotes about Baseball

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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.

Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.

George Carlin
Baseball, Player, People

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line. In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! I hope I'll be safe at home!

George Carlin
Sports, Baseball, Football

If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?

George Carlin
Baseball, Team, Stupid
George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

George Carlin
Baseball, Football, Spring
George Carlin (2007). “The Best of Brain Droppings”, p.39, Peter Pauper Press, Inc.

In football the object is to march into enemy territory and cross his goal. In baseball the object is to go home.

George Carlin
Baseball, Football, Home

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.

George Carlin
Sports, Baseball, Mirrors
George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father's, it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence.

George Carlin
Baseball, Team, Father
George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!

George Carlin
Baseball, Home, Safe
George Carlin (2007). “The Best of Brain Droppings”, p.44, Peter Pauper Press, Inc.

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

George Carlin
Baseball, Football, Struggle
George Carlin (2007). “The Best of Brain Droppings”, p.38, Peter Pauper Press, Inc.

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