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George Carlin Quotes about Home

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A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt

A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt

George Carlin
Home, Gun, Safety
George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.

George Carlin
Flower, Home, Watches

I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.

George Carlin
Believe, Home, Gun
Interview with Sam Merrill, reprints.longform.org. January 1982.

I do something about the weather. I stay home.

George Carlin
Home, Weather
George Carlin (2015). “3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, p.193, Hachette UK

Your home is your refuge.

George Carlin
Home, Refuge

In football the object is to march into enemy territory and cross his goal. In baseball the object is to go home.

George Carlin
Baseball, Football, Home

My mother didn't get home until about seven most nights and, yes, there was a sense of being very alone after school. She gave me all the proper guidance and influences, but physically, she just couldn't be there.

George Carlin
Mother, Home, School
Source: reprints.longform.org

I am not a difficult man by any stretch, and I'm saying that with a full and honest inventory going on. I'm not. And I'm not angry on stage. There is a heightening. There is an intensification of the feelings on stage in order to let them carry the room. There is a theatricality about it. The whole thing is oratory, so there's persuasion involved. There's the art of rhetoric involved. And so, with hyperbole and with the desire to really punch the thing home, some of it reads a little more angry.

George Carlin
Art, Home, Men

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!

George Carlin
Baseball, Home, Safe
George Carlin (2007). “The Best of Brain Droppings”, p.44, Peter Pauper Press, Inc.

And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.

George Carlin
Home, Laughing, Waste
"A Place for My Stuff" by George Carlin, ("Fussy Eater, Pt. 1"), 1981.

You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.

George Carlin
Home, Pockets, World

The patterns became even more vivid at Cardinal Hayes High School. That's when I began failing subjects and running away from home for days at a time.

George Carlin
Running, Home, School
Source: reprints.longform.org

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