George Carlin Quotes about Sports

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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!

Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!

George Carlin

Funny, Sports, Stupid

George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line. In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! I hope I'll be safe at home!

George Carlin

Sports, Baseball, Football

Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

George Carlin

Funny, Sports, Humor

George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

George Carlin

Sports, Jesus, Stupid

Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?

George Carlin

Sports, Mother, Running

George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion