I invented the cordless extension cord.
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.
