Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
For a while I didn't have a car . . . I had a helicopter . . . no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running. [slow glance upward]
I bought a dog the other day. . . . I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. . . . "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
I was born by Caesarian section . . . but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.
