Fun Quotes - Page 27

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

Charity begins at home, but should not end there.

Approximately 80% of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emission standards from man-made sources.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

When I was in high school, I liked to pretend that I was a Russian foreign exchange student. I would do things like go into a pizza restaurant and tell them Id never had pizza before, and theyd bring me into the kitchen and show me how to make an American pizza. Its really fun.

We must be as familiar with the functions of our building as with our materials. We must learn what a building can be, what it should be, and also what it must not be.

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.

A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.

Pressure is something you feel when you do not know what you are doing.

Your wrinkles either show that you're nasty, cranky, and senile, or that you're always smiling.

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

Spirituality does not have to be serious. You are spirituality. Fun laughter heal you faster than anything. Introduce fun back into your life.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

Those who build walls are their own prisoners. I'm going to go fulfill my proper function in the social organism. I'm going to unbuild walls.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

Get the fundamentals down and the level of everything you do will rise

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause ? you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.