Fun Quotes - Page 86

Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars.

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.

The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

It doesn't matter how big a ranch you own or how many cows you brand, the size of your funeral is still gonna depend on the weather.

Sometimes I get drunk and I get into arguments with taxi drivers. And I get out the cab and I slam the door. That's not the way to win an argument with a taxi driver. The way to win is you get out of the cab and you leave the door open. And then he has to step out and come around and close that door. And while he's doing that, I'm on the other side opening the other doors-and we just go around and around and around, and I got my own Benny Hill situation going on in life.

Only a liberal senator from Massachusetts would say that a 49 percent increase in funding for education was not enough.

People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?

Should I be the one to play God? We're both about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods.

Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.

In real life I'm the type of girl who doesn't take herself too seriously. I'm very serious when it comes to work, but I like to make jokes and have a good laugh and make fun of myself.

I think the paparazzi is a necessary evil...and if ya don't like it, and ya don't want to do this, go to Iowa and do some community theatre. It's all about self-promotion and it's not always the fun part of it.

Human beings can be beautiful. If they are not beautiful it is entirely their own fault. It is what they do to themselves that makes them ugly. The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. If you foolishly ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it.

At every concert I've sensed a certain insecurity about the tempo. It's clearly marked 80...uh, 69.

Accelerando means in tempo. Don't rush.

Translators are like ninjas. If you notice them, they’re no good.

Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eighty miles an hour and then they start dropping and they don't stop dropping until the act is completed. So it's not uncommon that they both fall all the way to the ground, hit the ground and both of them die. That's how committed they are to this. I thought to myself, 'Boy, don't we feel like wimps for stopping to answer the phone.' I don't know about you, but if I'm one of these two birds, you're getting close to the ground... I would serioulsy consider fakin' it.

Whenever you observe an animal closely, you feel as if a human being sitting inside were making fun of you.

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.

I have no particular love for my species, but own to an exhaustless fund of compassion

Off the floor I'm really laid back, like nothing really fazes me too much. But on the floor I do get emotional and a little carried away. However, I started playing when I was 13 to have fun with my teammates, and that never stopped. I enjoy traveling and having fun in the locker room with the guys. Life is too short to be miserable.

Copy and paste is a design error.

Aggressiveness was a fundamental to success in airtoair combat and if you ever caught a fighter pilot in a defensive mood you had him licked before you started shooting.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.

I believe that human overpopulation is the fundamental problem on Earth Today" and, "We humans have become a disease, the Humanpox