Fun Quotes - Page 83

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Sure, I have advice for people starting to write. Don't. I don't need the competition.

Too much work, and no vacation, Deserves at least a small libation. So hail! my friends, and raise your glasses, Work's the curse of the drinking classes.

A true batsman should in most of his strokes tell the truth about himself.

I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

Volleyball is one of the most interactive games going. It is a game of intuition, imagination, improvisation - but most of all, of reciprocity - of teamwork. There is no way to free-lance in volleyball.

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

I'm not for everyone. I'm barely for me.

We focus on the best, fun, and happy things, and people want that. Being happy never goes out of style.

It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of. What they don't want.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.

Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable or am I miserable because listen to pop music?

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

It's all fun and games 'till someone loses an eye, then it's just fun you can't see.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Kids want to saute, to cut the pizza, to see how the ingredients come together. If you let them do the fun stuff, they'll develop skills and interests that will stay with them forever.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

The more I know about men the more I like dogs.

Veganism is an act of nonviolent defiance. It is our statement that we reject the notion that animals are things and that we regard sentient nonhumans as moral persons with the fundamental moral right not to be treated as the property or resources of humans.

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.