Witty Quotes - Page 13

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.

Where is it written that a smart woman can't also be stacked?

After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

Advertising in the final analysis should be news. If it is not news it is worthless.

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up

Nowhere are prejudices more mistaken for truth, passion for reason and invective for documentation than in politics.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

Is there some thought being given to subsidizing the clearing of rainforests in order for some countries to eliminate that production of greenhouse gases?

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be, let me tell you. Honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.

Accept that all of us can be hurt, that all of us can and surely will at times fail. Other vulnerabilities, like being embarrassed or risking love, can be terrifying, too. I think we should follow a simple rule: if we can take the worst, take the risk.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.

I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.

As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.