Witty Quotes - Page 24

Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

Our way is not soft grass, it's a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upwards, forward, toward the sun.

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

I would have made a good pope.

I know that you cannot hate other people without hating yourself.

Mumps, measles, and puppy love are terrible after twenty.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.

Quotation... A writer expresses himself in words that have been used before because they give his meaning better than he can give it himself, or because they are beautiful or witty, or because he expects them to touch a cord of association in his reader, or because he wishes to show that he is learned and well read. Quotations due to the last motive are invariably ill-advised; the discerning reader detects it and is contemptuous; the undiscerning is perhaps impressed, but even then is at the same time repelled, pretentious quotations being the surest road to tedium.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.

We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.

I'm for whatever gets you through the night

Art is 'I'; science is 'we'.

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.

I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.

Can she sing? She's practically a Florence Nightingale.

In two words, impossible.

Let's say you have $1,000,000 tied up in your little company and suddenly your advertising isn't working and sales are going down. And everything depends on it. Your future depends on it, your family's future depends on it, other people's families depend on it. Now, what do you want from me? Fine writing? Or do you want to see the goddamned sales curve stop moving down and start moving up?