Witty Quotes - Page 21

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

The real fact of the matter is that nobody reads ads. People read what interests them, and sometimes it's an ad.

he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you're heading for a crash. What I'm against is blind flying.

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding.

The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

A sheep in sheep's clothing.

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

I adore pretty things & witty words.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

I suppose no one is as handsome or as beautiful as he or she wishes, or as brilliant in school or as witty in speech or as wealthy as we would like, but in a world of varied talents and fortunes that we can't always command, I think that makes even more attractive the qualities we can command--such qualities as thoughtfulness, patience, a kind word, and true delight in the accomplishment of another. These cost us nothing, and they can mean everything to the one who receives them.

Change is not a four letter word...but often your reaction to it is!

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Men are only as loyal as their options.

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

When our government is spoken of as some menacing, threatening, foreign entity, it ignores the fact that in our democracy, government is us