I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. Or maybe something that just happened, you know. But I like especially that just-before kind of feeling.
At the battle of the bands the loser's always the audience.
When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.
One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.
My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.
They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.
I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.
It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
Halloween: the day each year when strangers give you even more specific reasons to dislike them based on what they are wearing.
To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
When I was younger, I'd get very empirical with myself. "I have a hypothesis about myself. I'll put myself in a situation, see what happens, then I'll draw a conclusion based on the empirical evidence. Hypothesis: I can play basketball." So I'd try. "Conclusion: I cannot play basketball."
It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.
Okay, so, when I was a kid, definitely the drawings and the illustration. Then I stopped in sixth grade or so. And then I started again when I was in my twenties. I really didn't progress since then, so the way I draw is the way I drew in sixth grade.
It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.
When a couch potato is sliced up and then deep fried that is couch french fries.
My original goal was just to do stand-up but then I became interested in films - writing a film, shooting one someday, and getting to act in them.
For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.
