Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Time wounds all heels.
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.