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Mark Twain Quotes - Page 34

All Quotes 4th Of July Accomplishment Achievement Addiction Adventure Adversity Age Aging Alcohol Ambition Anxiety Appearance Appreciation Arguing Army Arrogance Art Atheism Atheist Attitude Authority Balance Beauty Beer Being Alone Belief Bible Bitterness Blame Bliss Bravery Business Censorship Challenges Change Character Charity Chastity Children Christianity Church Coffee College Comedy Communication Community Compassion Confidence Conflict Conscience Conservatism Constitution Cooking Country Courage Crime Criticism Dance Dancing Darkness Death Deception Defeat Democracy Design Desire Determination Devil Disappointment Diversity Divorce Doubt Drinking Duty Dying Earth Education Effort Encouragement Energy Enthusiasm Envy Epic Ethics Evidence Evil Exercise Experience Failing Failure Family Fashion Fear Feelings Fighting Finding Yourself Fitness Flattery Focus Food Forgiveness Free Speech Freedom Friends Friendship Fun Funeral Funny Future Genius Getting Older Giving Giving Up God Gold Good Times Gossip Grace Graduation Gratitude Greatness Greed Grief Grieving Growing Up Growth Happiness Happy Hard Times Hard Work Hate Healing Health Heart Heaven Hell Hilarious Hills Hinduism History Holiday Home Honesty Honor House Human Nature Humanity Humility Hunger Hunting Hurt Hypocrisy Ignorance Imagination Independence Individuality Innovation Insanity Inspiration Inspirational Inspiring Integrity Intelligence Journey Joy Judgement Judging Judgment Justice Kindness Knowledge Labor Language Laughter Law Of Attraction Leadership Learning Liars Liberty Life Life And Death Literature Loneliness Losing Loss Love Loyalty Luck Lying Madness Manners Marriage Math Memorial Day Memories Military Moderation Modesty Mom Monarchy Money Moon Morality Morning Motivation Motivational Mountain Music Nature New Year Office Opportunity Optimism Pain Parenting Passion Past Patriotism Peace Perception Perfection Perseverance Personality Philosophy Planning Pleasure Politics Positive Positive Thinking Positivity Poverty Power Praise Prayer Preaching Prejudice Pride Privacy Profanity Progress Prophecy Prosperity Purpose Quality Rain Reading Reading Books Reality Recovery Regret Religion Reputation Respect Responsibility Revolution Risk Running Sad Sadness Sailing Salvation Sanity Sarcasm Satan School Science Self Esteem Seven Shame Silence Simplicity Sin Skins Sleep Smoking Society Solitude Son Sorrow Soul Sports Spring Strength Struggle Study Stupidity Style Success Suffering Summer Sunday Sunshine Swimming Talent Taxes Teaching Temperance Temptation Time Today Trade Tradition Tragedy Training Travel Trust Truth Twins Undertaker Vacation Values Violence Virtue Vision Vocation Voting Waiting War Water Wealth Whiskey Wife Wine Winning Winter Wisdom Wit Work Worry Worship Writing Youth

I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.

I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.

Idiot, Congress, Repeats

I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.

Hatred, House, Enthusiasm

No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.

Funny, Death, Real

Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.8, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.

Answers, Perplexity

Mark Twain (2006). “The Signet Classic Book of Mark Twain's Short Stories”, p.291, Penguin

We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

Musical, Fifteen, Talent

Mark Twain (2012). “Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 1, Reader’s Edition”, p.251, Univ of California Press

An average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I've dug all the large words out of my vocabulary and shaved it down till the average is three and a half... I never write metropolis for seven cents, because I can get the same money for city. I never write policeman, because I can get the same price for cop.... I never write valetudinarian at all, for not even hunger and wretchedness can humble me to the point where I will do a word like that for seven cents; I wouldn't do it for fifteen.

Writing, Humble, Vocabulary

This is a Christian country. Why, so is hell. Inasmuch as Strait is the way and narrow is the gate, and few - few - are they that enter in thereat has had the natural effect of making hell the only really prominent Christian community in any of the worlds; but we don't brag of this and certainly it is not proper to brag and boast that America is a Christian country when we all know that certainly five-sixths of our population could not enter in at the narrow gate.

Christian, Country, America

Mark Twain (2015). “Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 3: The Complete and Authoritative Edition”, p.188, Univ of California Press

I have been scientifically studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so-called,) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result profoundly humiliating to me. For it obliges me to renounce my allegiance to the Darwinian theory of the Ascent of Man from the Lower Animals; since it now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one, this new and truer one to be named the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

Science, Animal, Men

Mark Twain (1973). “What Is Man? and Other Philosophical Writings”, p.81, Univ of California Press

We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries; it is only when we set out to discover "the secret of God" that our difficulties disappear.

Men, Secret, Mystery

Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.4047, Delphi Classics

The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.

Thinking, Southern, World

Mark Twain (1994). “Tales, Speeches, Essays, and Sketches”, p.293, Penguin

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

Motivation, Integrity, Emotional

Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.22, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

Funny, Cat, Fighting

Mark Twain (2015). “A Tramp Abroad: Mark Twain's Collections”, p.9, 谷月社

Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.

Ignorant, Body, Knows

Mark Twain (2013). “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”, Penguin

Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.

Marriage, Tragedy, Felicity

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.257, Courier Corporation

A private should preserve a respectful attitude toward his superiors, and should seldom or never proceed so far as to offer suggestions to his general in the field. If the battle is not being conducted to suit him, it is better for him to resign. By the etiquette of war, it is permitted to none below the rank of newspaper correspondent to dictate to the general in the field.

Attitude, War, Advice

Mark Twain (1992). “Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, and Essays, Volume 1: 1852-1890”, p.1015, Library of America

Herschel removed the speckled tent-roof from the world and exposed the immeasurable deeps of space, dim-flecked with fleets of colossal suns sailing their billion-leagued remoteness.

Science, Space, Sailing

Mark Twain (2003). “Tales of Wonder”, p.223, U of Nebraska Press

There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.

Climbing, People, Alps

Mark Twain (2016). “A Tramp Abroad”, p.246, Xist Publishing

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Funny, Humor, Science

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn ch. 26 (1884)

There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Lying, Different, Bears

Mark Twain, Caroline Thomas Harnsberger (2009). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.237, Courier Corporation

It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!

Spring, Heart, Names

Mark Twain (2008). “10 Books in 1”, p.193, Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax

If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.

Newspapers, Uninformed, Ifs

It would not be possible for Noah to do in our day what he was permitted to do in his own ... The inspector would come and examine the Ark, and make all sorts of objections.

Law, Ark, Objections

Mark Twain (2017). “Mark Twain’s Comedy Classics: 190+ Stories & Sketches (Illustrated Edition): The Complete Short Stories of Mark Twain: A Double Barrelled Detective Story, Those Extraordinary Twins, The Stolen White Elephant, The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, Sketches New and Old, Mark Twain’s Library of Humor…”, p.869, e-artnow

Thou shalt not commit adultry is a command which makes no distinction between the following persons. They are all required to obey it: children at birth. Children in the cradle. School children. Youths and maidens. Fresh adults. Older ones. Men and women of 40. Of 50. Of 60. Of 70. Of 80. Of 100. The command does not distribute its burden equally, and cannot. It is not hard upon the three sets of children.

Children, School, Men

Mark Twain (1973). “What Is Man? and Other Philosophical Writings”, p.437, Univ of California Press

What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.

Business, Play, Done

Mark Twain, Gary Scharnhorst (2006). “Mark Twain: The Complete Interviews”, p.517, University of Alabama Press

Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.

Inspiration, Names, Common

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.317, Courier Corporation

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