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Mark Twain Quotes - Page 78

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Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.

Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.

Mark Twain
Law, People, Common Sense
Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain’s Letters & Speeches (Annotated Edition)”, p.539, Jazzybee Verlag

I will now claim - until dispossesed - that I was the first person in the world to apply the typewriter to literature. ... The early machine was full of caprices, full of defects- devilish ones. It had as many immoralities as the machine of today has virtues. After a year or two I found that it was degrading my character, so I thought I would give it to Howells. ... He took it home to Boston, and my morals began to improve, but his have never recovered.

Mark Twain
Character, Home, Two

You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that ain't no matter. That book was made by a Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly.

Mark Twain
Book, Adventure, Names
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn ch. 1 (1884)

That is an editor. He is trying to think of a word. He props his feet on a chair, which is the editor's way; then he can think better. I do not care much for this one; his ears are not alike; still, editor suggests the sound of Edward, and he will do. I could make him better if I had a model, but I made this one from memory. But is no particular matter; they all look alike, anyway. They are conceited and troublesome, and don't pay enough.

Mark Twain
Memories, Conceited, Thinking
Mark Twain (2015). “Mark Twain's Essays: Top Essays”, p.101, 谷月社

Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.

Mark Twain
War, Famine, Hard
Mark Twain, General Press (2016). “The Complete Works of Mark Twain: All 13 Novels, Short Stories, Poetry and Essays”, p.1279, GENERAL PRESS

Imagination labors best in distant fields.

Mark Twain
Imagination, Fields, Labor
Mark Twain (1869). “The Innocents Abroad: or, The New Pilgrims' Progress”, p.527

A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.

Mark Twain
Cat, Excellence, Tails

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Mark Twain
Education, Running, College
A Curious Dream "Facts Concerning the Recent Resignation" (1872)

The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man; and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.

Mark Twain
Kings, Men, Facts
Mark Twain, General Press (2016). “The Complete Works of Mark Twain: All 13 Novels, Short Stories, Poetry and Essays”, p.220, GENERAL PRESS

It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.

Mark Twain
Facts, Emotion, Seven
Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.24, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

Training- training is everything; training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature; it is folly; there is no such thing as nature; what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training. We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own; they are transmitted to us, trained into us.

Mark Twain
Names, Training, Opinion
Mark Twain (1889). “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court”, p.143, Createspace Independent Pub

You should never trust a man who has only one way to spell a word.

Mark Twain
Men, Way, Never Trust

I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful; and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.

Mark Twain
Dog, Stars, Shining
Mark Twain (2015). “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”, p.8, Sheba Blake Publishing

Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better.

Mark Twain
God, Heaven, May
Mark Twain (1924). “Mark Twain's Own Autobiography: The Chapters from the North American Review”, p.29, Univ of Wisconsin Press

Now when I had mastered the language of this water, and had come to know every trifling feature that bordered the great river as familiarly as I knew the letters of the alphabet, I had made a valuable acquisition. But I had lost something, too. I had lost something which could never be restored me while I lived. All the grace, the beauty, the poetry, had gone out of the majestic river!

Mark Twain
Rivers, Water, Grace
Mark Twain, Milton Meltzer (2002). “Mark Twain Himself: A Pictorial Biography”, p.35, University of Missouri Press

Perhaps no poet is a conscious plagiarist, but there seems to be warrant for suspecting that there is no poet who is not at one time or another an unconscious one.

Mark Twain
Writing, Poet, Conscious
Mark Twain (2015). “Following the Equator: "A Journey Around the World"”, p.113, eKitap Projesi

When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.

Mark Twain
Believe, Government, Politics
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.363, Courier Corporation

The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad - but whiskey!

Mark Twain
Civilization, Pioneers, Railroads

Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.

Mark Twain
Worry, Focus, Information

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

Mark Twain
Happiness, Humor, Joy
Following the Equator ch. 10, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" (1897)

In my nostrils still lives the breath of flowers that perished twenty years ago.

Mark Twain
Flower, Years, Twenties
Mark Twain (1976). “Mark Twain's Notebooks & Journals, Volume I: (1855-1873)”, p.105, Univ of California Press

Would it not be prudent to get our civilization tools together, and see how much stock is left on hand in the way of Glass Beads and Theology, and Maxim Guns and Hymn Books, and Trade Gin and Torches of Progress and Enlightenment (patent adjustable ones, good to fire villages with, upon occasion), and balance the books, and arrive at the profit and loss, so that we may intelligently decide whether to continue the business or sellout the property and start a new Civilization Scheme on the proceeds.

Mark Twain
Book, Loss, Gun
Mark Twain (2004). “The Portable Mark Twain”, p.495, Penguin

There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.

Mark Twain
Civilization, Levels, Salvation
Mark Twain (1994). “Tales, Speeches, Essays, and Sketches”, p.262, Penguin

The peoples furthest from civilization are the ones where equality between man and woman are furthest apart-and we consider this one of the signs of savagery.

Mark Twain
Men, Civilization, Men And Women
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.47, Courier Corporation

If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.

Mark Twain
Civilization, Tails, Paper
Mark Twain, William Dean Howells (1960). “Mark Twain-Howells letters: the correspondence of Samuel L. Clemens and William D. Howells, 1872-1910”, Belknap Press

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