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Mark Twain Quotes - Page 86

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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.

The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.

Mark Twain
Dog, Men, Lightning
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.2811, Delphi Classics

There isn't any way to libel the human race.

Mark Twain
Race, Way, Libel
Mark Twain (2015). “Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 3: The Complete and Authoritative Edition”, p.136, Univ of California Press

It is better to support schools than jails.

Mark Twain
School, Jail, Support
Mark Twain (2016). “Mark Twain's Speeches”, p.94, Xist Publishing

Custom is custom: it is built of brass, boiler-iron, granite; facts, reasonings, arguments have no more effect upon it than the idle winds have upon Gibraltar.

Mark Twain
Wind, Iron, Atheism
Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.74, Courier Corporation

For a male person bric-a-brac hunting is about as robust a business as making doll-clothes.

Mark Twain
Hunting, Clothes, Males
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.5091, Delphi Classics

The very "marks" on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.

Mark Twain
Ceramics, Pieces, Pottery
Mark Twain (2015). “A Tramp Abroad: Mark Twain's Collections”, p.71, 谷月社

It was in Warwick Castle that I came across the curious stranger whom I am going to talk about. He attracted me by three things: his candid simplicity, his marvelous familiarity with ancient armor, and the restfulness of his company--for he did all the talking.

Mark Twain
Book, Talking, Simplicity
Mark Twain (2008). “10 Books in 1”, p.442, Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax

It was in 1590--winter. Austria was far away from the world, and asleep; it was still the Middle Ages in Austria, and promised to remain so forever. Some even set it away back centuries upon centuries and said that by the mental and spiritual clock it was still the Age of Belief in Austria. But they meant it as a compliment, not a slur, and it was so taken, and we were all proud of it. I remember it well, although I was only a boy; and I remember, too, the pleasure it gave me.

Mark Twain
Spiritual, Book, Taken
Mark Twain (2015). “The Mysterious Stranger”, Mark Twain

In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.

Mark Twain
Book, Autumn, Boys
Mark Twain (2016). “The Prince and The Pauper”, p.16, My Ebook Publishing House

If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!

Mark Twain
Death, Nice, Fetch
'The Innocents Abroad' (1869) ch. 27

Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.

Mark Twain
Food, Humble, Islands
Pudd'nhead Wilson ch. 18, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" (1894)

Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden.

Mark Twain
Apples, Want, Sake

There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.

Mark Twain
Humorous, Stories, Kind
Mark Twain (2012). “Humorous Stories and Sketches”, p.70, Courier Corporation

You need not expect to get your book right the first time.

Mark Twain
Book, Writing, Needs
Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain’s Letters & Speeches (Annotated Edition)”, p.361, Jazzybee Verlag

When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

Mark Twain
Numbers, People, Different
Pudd'nhead Wilson ch. 13, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" (1894)

School gets in the way of my learning.

Mark Twain
School, Way

The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone

Mark Twain
Good Enough, Catfish, Fishes
Mark Twain (2016). “Life On The Mississippi”, p.172, Xist Publishing

Mine was a trained Presbyterian conscience and knew but the one duty - to hunt and harry its slave upon all pretexts and on all occasions, particularly when there was no sense nor reason in it.

Mark Twain
Atheism, Slave, Reason
Mark Twain (2010). “Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 1: The Complete and Authoritative Edition”, p.158, Univ of California Press

Presbyterianism without infant damnation would be like the dog on the train that couldn't be identified because it had lost its tag.

Mark Twain
Dog, Atheism, Damnation
Mark Twain, Caroline Thomas Harnsberger (2009). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.371, Courier Corporation

This is the only sane clerical the earthquake has exposed to view yet.

Mark Twain
Views, Earthquakes, Atheism

What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.

Mark Twain
Mean, Thinking, Mind
Mark Twain (2017). “MARK TWAIN: 12 Novels, 195 Short Stories, Autobiography, 10 Travel Books, 160+ Essays & Speeches (Illustrated): Including Letters & Biographies – The Complete Works of Mark Twain: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, The Innocents Abroad, Yankee in King Arthur's Court, Life on the Mississippi…”, p.4605, e-artnow

Some authorities hold that the young ought not to lie at all. That, of course, is putting it rather stronger than necessary; still, while I cannot go quite so far as that, I do maintain, and I believe I am right, that the young ought to be temperate in the use of this great art until practice and experience shall give them that confidence, elegance and precision which alone can make the accomplishment graceful and profitable.

Mark Twain
Education, Art, Lying
Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.4158, Delphi Classics

If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty.

Mark Twain
Mouths, Reputation, Empty
Mark Twain (1994). “Tales, Speeches, Essays, and Sketches”, p.146, Penguin

Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get achance, because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain't ever forgot. I never see papa when he didn't want the chicken himself, but that is what he used to say, anyway.

Mark Twain
Hypocrisy, Papa, Doe
Mark Twain, General Press (2016). “The Complete Works of Mark Twain: All 13 Novels, Short Stories, Poetry and Essays”, p.433, GENERAL PRESS

Narrative should flow as flows the brook down through the hills and the leafy woodlands...a brook that never goes straight for a minute, but goes and goes briskly, sometimes ungrammatically, and sometimes fetching a horseshoe of ¾ of a mile around and at the end of the circuit flowing within a yard of the path that it traversed an hour before; but always going and always following at least one law, always loyal to that law, the law of narrative, which has no law. Nothing to do but make the trip; the how of it is not important, so that the trip is made.

Mark Twain
Law, Important, Loyal

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