Comedian Quotes - Page 4

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.

Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?

Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you?

Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'

I don’t like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors.

Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!

There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It's like from like the era of court jesters.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them.

Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.

I don't really like actors. Actors are like terrible comedians with no punch lines. It's all about them. They talk about themselves all the time. They bore the sh - t out of you.

I'm not very funny in real life. I used to want to be a comedian when I was 13, 14, 15, till I saw "Death Of A Salesman" with Lee J. Cobb and Mildred Dunnock.

Comedians, such as yourself, Jon Stewart and others, are a valuable supplement, and here's why: Good journalism at its best frequently speaks truth to power. What's happened with journalists - again, I don't except myself from this criticism - in some ways we've lost our guts. We need a spine transplant. What's happened is comedians, in their own way, speak truth to power and fill that vacuum that we in journalism have too often left, particularly post 9/11.

Many comedians - both male and female - do have an "I will never date another comedian" rule.

I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you learn how to do it.

When I was ten, I wrote an essay on what I would be when I grew up and said I would be a professional soccer player and a comedian in off season.

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'

I'm a comedian, and I like to work on my live show, and if I'm doing television, I don't have time to work on my live show, and I can become a lame comic, and that sucks.

Comedians and Feminists... are natural enemies, because stereotypically-speaking, feminists can't take a joke and... comedians can't take criticism.

Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.

You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level.

To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.

I don't mind being accused of being a bad comedian and I don't even mind being accused of being a bad talk-show host, but I never want to be accused of being an arrogant, pompous showbiz asshole.