Comedian Quotes - Page 3

The real good comedians, like Chaplin, would make you laugh and a second later, cry

Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart.

It's now very common to hear people say 'I'm rather offended by that'.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Today's comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he's telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

I'm all about showing people that I'm a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won't grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, 'Life is great.'

I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.

I really wanted to, but I just didn't understand how people became comedians. I kind of thought it was something you were born into. And so I wanted to be a veterinarian or an architect. I wanted to be in a band, and for some reason I could understand how you could be in a band because I had guitars and all my friends played music. Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn't anything I pursued.

Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it.

I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.

Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

One of the problems I see with these comics on television, particularly cable television, is, since you can say anything in terms of sex and scatological references and so on, therefore, you should do it. So they all limit themselves to these subjects and this vocabulary. My objection is that it is a lack of articulateness. Irreverence is easy, but what is hard is wit. Wit is what these comedians lack.

Every comedian is just doing the comedy they find funny. This is me and it's not clean in any way. I could get a lot more work on TV playing clean but it's never interesting.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

When I was a kid, I loved all the silent comedians - Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin. And I used to imitate them. I'd go to see a Buster Keaton movie and come home and try things out I'd seen. I learned to do pratfalls when I was very young.

I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now

When you go to standup, there seems to be a common denominator of some form of need or want for validation from the audience that maybe you were lacking as a kid.

As a comedian, as an entertainer, there's a lot of downtime. Once you can accept that comedy is a marathon, not a sprint, it gets a little easier.

I worry about my judgment when anything I believe in or do regularly begins to be accepted by the American public.

Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50.

A lot of us [comedians] are drawn to the stage or show business or whatever because we didn't feel so great about ourselves, and we didn't know how to do anything about that, so we sought external approval.