Fun Quotes - Page 37

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience.

Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

The only reason why you were WWE Champion for a year, is because Triple H didn't want to work Tuesdays.

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride, In a one-horse open sleigh, hey, Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride, In a one-horse open sleigh...

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Obviously you have to have rhythm. If you have rhythm, then you can play anything you need. If you have rhythm and you love music, then play and play and play until you get to where you want to get. If you can pay the rent, great. If you can't, then you'd better be having fun.

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.

All pitchers are liars or crybabies.

I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.