Fun Quotes - Page 36

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.

Believe in yourself and don't care about haters.

Just have fun and take every bit of experience that you can.

I do not believe in using women in combat, because females are too fierce.

Bulldogs have been known to fall on their swords when confronted by my superior tenacity.

Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world.

It takes two to speak the truth: one to speak, and another to hear.

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

My goal in sailing isn't to be brilliant or flashy in individual races, just to be consistent over the long run.

Now repentance is no fun at all. It is something much harder than merely eating humble pie. It means unlearning all the self-conceit and self-will that we have been training ourselves into for thousands of years. It means undergoing a kind of death. In fact, it needs a good man to repent. And here's the catch. Only a bad person needs to repent: only a good person can repent perfectly. The worse you are the more you need it and the less you can do it. The only person who could do it perfectly would be a perfect person - and he would not need it.

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

Where are all the sour patch parents?

College is about three things: homework, fun, and sleep...but you can only choose two.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Unless in communicating with it one says exactly what one means, trouble is bound to result.

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.