Fun Quotes - Page 81

When anybody laughs, he has no mind, no thought, no problem, no suffering.

Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose.

I'm conducting slowly because I don't know the tempo.

Cause see they call me a menace; and if the shoe fits I'll wear it.

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

Reading is fundamental - fun to mental.

The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit.

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.

When people ask me what 'American Pie' means, I tell them it means I don't ever have to work again if I don't want to.

Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.

The more you know, the more you can make fun of

Children are amazing, and while I go to places like Princeton and Harvard and Yale, and of course I teach at Columbia, NYU, and that's nice and I love students, but the most fun of all are the real little ones, the young ones.

Cults and prophets proclaiming the imminent end of the world have been with us for several millennia, and it has been another sour sort of fun to ridicule them the morning after, when they discover that their calculations were a little off. But, just as with Marxists, there are some among them who are working hard to "hasten the inevitable," not merely anticipating the End Days with joy in their hearts, but taking political action to bring about the conditions they think are the prerequisites for that occasion.

Do not worry about not holding high position; worry rather about playing your proper role. Worry not that no one knows of you; seek to be worth knowing.

Having a little fun at my work does not make me any less of an artist and people who appreciate truly beautiful and original creations in pottery are not frightened by innocent tomfoolery!

A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.

It was always a fantasy of mine growing up - my favorite program was always 'Little House on the Prairie' - so I always wanted to wear those looks. When I was a child, I wouldn't let my mom put me in anything but calico dresses and now... whaddaya know, every day I'm in a calico dress, basically, so it's kind of funny.

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.