Sarcastic Quotes - Page 19

He knows so little and knows it so fluently.

A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster.

This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country.

You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.

My films often have a very strong strain of irony, or even sarcasm, which is definitely related to homosexual camp. But it is by no means straightforward: quite often I am sincere when I appear to be sarcastic, and I am sarcastic when I appear to be sincere. I also try to contradict myself at least once a day, which is a camp must.

A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.

I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I to play jokes on people and be sarcastic.

We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.

diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.

I am easily satisfied with the very best.

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.

Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own.

The Japanese have perfected good manners and made them indistinguishable from rudeness.

It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.

The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth - pickle-jar chin, mainsail ears and a nose like a trigonometry problem. What's more, she had the deep frown and snit wrinkles that come from a lifetime of bad character.

You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

He couldn't see a belt without hitting below it.

Writers are interesting people, but often mean and petty.

What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank.

It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?'

A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.