Sarcastic Quotes - Page 21

I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness

The finest woman that ever walked the streets.

I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them.

I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.

I've been things and seen places.

The fact that a man is a newspaper reporter is evidence of some flaw of character.

Death will be a great relief. No more interviews.

Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

She should get a divorce and settle down.

Where others have hearts, he carries a tumor of rotten principles.

It's never just a game when you're winning.

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Almost all of my early art dealt with the fallout from middle-class taboos, the messy, the ambivalent emotions couples felt, the inherent racism, the sexual tensions and the unhappiness roiling below the surface of our prim suburban lives. Meanwhile I was a suburban bad boy - cynical, sarcastic, contemptuous of all authority.

I see little hope for democracy as an effective form of government, but I admire the poetry of how it makes its victims complicit in their own destruction.

A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist.

A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits.

Some of the secret joys of living are not found by rushing from point A to point B, but by inventing some imaginary letters along the way.

As women slowly gain power, their values and priorities are reshaping the agenda. A multitude of studies show that when women control the family funds, they generally spend more on health, nutrition, and education - and less on alcohol and cigarettes.

The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if it were.

What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start.

What is art? Prostitution.

Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.